My first meditation class was an accident. I thought I was going to yoga. But the winter to spring schedule changes had just taken place at my yoga studio. So there I was up at 7:15 on a Thursday morning already dressed in workout clothes. I thought “it can’t be that hard, let’s meditate!”
I assumed the class would be nice and peaceful, with a teacher telling us what to do in a soothing voice. I walked in, everyone sat down, the teacher turned off the lights, and…that was it.
I kept opening my eyes to peak at my fellow meditators. Their eyes were all closed and they seemed at peace. I expected the teacher to say something about what I should be thinking about. She didn’t say a word! I didn’t know what to do! And then I got mad because I didn’t know what to do. I was too embarrassed to walk out so when the class was finally over, instead of feeling more relaxed I stormed out, angry and annoyed I had wasted my morning.
That was a couple years ago. Since then I’ve read books on meditation and the benefits of thinking about thinking. Trust me, thinking that “I’m a mountain” and “my thoughts are like clouds passing by the mountain” does not come naturally to me. But sometimes after yoga or working out, I’ll sit down and close my eyes and think about nothing.
It usually lasts for about ten seconds before thoughts start swirling in my head. But I observe these thoughts and it’s nice to know that these thoughts and emotions don’t last forever. I can be really mad and annoyed at something but know that in an hour I may be laughing and having a good time.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever master meditation — but I have learned a couple of minutes of “me time” every day makes me happy.