Take the quiz to see if you know what makes a relationship a healthy one, then read on to get one teen’s story on how she got out of an abusive relationship.
To find out how you can get help for a friend or yourself, call the Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-SAFE (800-799-7233).
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Get the facts on communication, compromise, and control.
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Being able to talk about anything with your partner is:
Open communication is very important to a healthy relationship. Having to guess what the other person is thinking is not healthy. If you feel afraid to bring up certain topics with your significant other, it can lead to problems in the relationship.
Insults, name-calling and put-downs between you and your significant other are:
Its never healthy to insult someone or make them feel bad. Humiliating the person you supposedly love and lowering their self-esteem can be as damaging to people as physical abuse.
Wanting to know where the other person is all the time is:
Possessiveness and wanting to keep track of the other persons every movement isnt love– its actually a sign of unhealthy insecurity that can lead to big problems down the line. If either of you asks for some alone time or wants space, the other person should be able to give it freely.
Being afraid of being yourself around your significant other is:
Feeling nervous or fearful around your partner is not a sign of a happy relationship. If your partner is always moody and unpredictable, or if youre often worried about how your significant other will react to things, its not healthy.
Grabbing, kicking, slapping and punching each other is:
Physical aggression is never OK. Grabbing, shoving, pushing, yelling or any type of physical intimidation is a red alert to get out of a relationship. Even simply getting up in another persons face is intimidation, not love.
Compromising, or each side giving in a little, when theres a disagreement is:
Compromising is part of working together in a healthy relationship. One person shouldnt get their way all the time. If you feel like youre the only one doing any compromising in the relationship, you may have a problem.
Showing respect and support for other peoples opinions is:
In a healthy relationship, each person is supportive of the other, and respectful of the others opinions. Being told what to do all the time and being told that the other person knows whats best for you can lead to trouble.
When your partner suggests that you caused their insults or anger, its:
Taking responsibility for your own actions is the healthy and mature thing to do. If the other person blames you for their behavior (You know I get out of control when Im angry– you shouldnt have pushed my buttons), the bad behavior isnt likely to stop.
Breaking or damaging your partners possessions is:
Throwing things is not a sign of a healthy relationship, nor is vandalism or the destruction of your property. If your partner threatens to harm him/herself, thats a danger sign as well, and you should seek help from a trusted adult immediately. Threatening to harm anything that is important to you, whether its your things, your pets, or even your friends or family, is also a red alert signal for help.
Admitting when youre wrong is:
Apologizing isnt a sign of weakness, nor is owning up to when youre wrong. But if one person never admits to being wrong, or only one person is willing to apologize, then there may be problems with the relationship.